Join Team Corpse
Hello, sexy subscribers. I have some super exciting news that I’m sharing with you first, because you are my elite squad of word warriors and gore zealots.
New Book Monster
My next book monster comes out 8/8/22, and this one has fangs. My extremely subtle, appropriate, and reverent title is I Will Kill You. At 69k words (make that juicy joke), it is a contemporary psychological thriller set in modern Manhattan, New York. I am looking for ARC readers to join Team Corpse and offer linguistic sacrifices to Lord Algorithm. There is no pressure at all to join, but if you’d like a free book and complimentary nightmares, I welcome you with open wings.
What Is Expected if You Join Team Corpse?
YOU GET A FREE EBOOK MONSTER AND MY ETERNAL/AGGRESSIVE GRATITUDE!
Please review I Will Kill You on Goodreads and BookBub before the publication date (8/8/22). * Please note that you must put something along the lines of this in your review: “I received a free ARC of this book and am leaving a voluntary, honest review.” Otherwise, the bloodthirsty algorithm shall strike it down with quick and brutal haste.
Pretty please cross-post the review to Amazon on the publication date. If so inclined, shout “FOR GLORY” while doing so.
Reader tears are also highly valued and appreciated, preferably stored in glass to avoid rust.
Taste the Blurb for I WILL KILL YOU
Corporate America: a psychopath’s wet dream. It’s Alex Osman’s playground.
Meet Alex. Alex is a single father. Alex is a psychopath. In public, he is a legend. In private, he is a madman. After losing his wife, he loses himself, drowning in crime to support his motherless kids. With the help of his imaginary friend, Bob (aka you, the reader), Alex rules Manhattan’s white-collar underworld, afraid to love again after crippling loss.
Then along comes Emma. Emma is a genius. Emma is dangerous. She sees something she shouldn’t, and Alex lets her live. Alex lets no one live. A game of cat and mouse escalates between them as threats and desire intertwine. After a safe life, Emma wants adventure, and Alex is a hurricane.
Then along comes a job. This job is a risk. This job is freedom. It pushes Alex to vicious extremes, but it could secure his kids’ futures. Everything he does, he does for them. Everyone he kills, he kills for them. Alex wants out, but he belongs in. Sin has teeth. Crime doesn’t commit itself, and freedom demands sacrifice.
Bob, you can’t trust Alex. He lies to everyone, including himself. His story is not what it seems.
DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS VICIOUSLY DARK
This book will not give you a hug. It does not play well with others. It will not rub your back and sing you a lullaby. No, this book is a bloody, prickly, infected beast that wants to rip you open and feast on your intestines while shrieking opera and twerking over your moldy carcass with its fellow zombified word monsters. It will throw you on the pavement and smash your head with a baseball bat, then eat your brain out of your shattered skull while carving open your chest to harvest the rest of your organs to sell on the black market. It will weave your arteries into a vascular quilt, snap off your ribs to build a bone xylophone, grill your lungs while still attached, and drink wine out of your bladder while peeling off your face one strip at a time with a rusty pair of pliers coated in chunky, pus-soaked vomit. There is nothing appropriate, subtle, or merciful about this book.
THIS IS YOUR ALL-CAPS WARNING. SAVE YOURSELVES WHILE YOU CAN. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
OR… *drumroll*
WELCOME TO THE ABYSS
Your free book and nightmares await.
All the love & chaos,
Halo